Carrying On For You
by Lolly6
Summary: It's been a couple of years now since Sunnydale was destroyed Buffy has never been able to get over spike, everday she thinks of him.... Decisions have to be made BuffySpike XanderAnya
1. Pain

"I love you"  
  
"No you don't but thanks for saying it."  
  
Buffy sat at the back of the bus watching through the windows as the ruins of her home and hell settled in the crater it had fallen into when the hell mouth closed getting smaller and smaller as the bus drove further and further away.  
  
She thought about when she had moved there about how she had thought that she had somehow managed to find a loop hole out of her destiny by moving town, she bitterly laughed to herself as she remembered how this was meant to be her escape her new page in the book and all that, she had quickly realised on arriving and meeting Giles on her first day, that she hadn't escape anything at all, she'd submerged herself deeper into destiny's clutches by moving to one of the biggest evil hot spots around.  
  
She'd never regret living their though especially as she looked around the bus and carefully looked at each of the people sitting around her taking longer lingering looks at Willow, Xander and Giles. If she had never moved there then she would never have met the most brilliant inspirational and powerful people who in her opinion had ever existed, they had kept her alive this long and help to make her the legendary figure which she was in the under world for the apocalypse's she'd stopped, the evil's she'd stopped and the fact that she'd managed to survive and life as long as she had, she knew that she was the longest living slayer who had ever been called since time began and she owed all of this her life, achievements her sanity to her friends, they'd guided and helped her through everything they were the stabling influence in her life which helped to keep her grounded when things went wrong, she thought about all the people who had been there for her over the years in Sunnydale  
  
The first name that obviously came to mind was Angel, she couldn't imagine how she could have coped when she had first arrived if it had not been for his help and love, she still loved him deeply she knew that but it was a different love now, it was a love for love's sake, she loved him for loving her and needing her for helping her and saving her when she was weak and for forcing her to realise that love is the greatest weapon she possessed, Sending him to hell had been the hardest thing she had ever done, but she had done it. And when he came back he stilled showed her love teaching her how much a heart was and could forgive, he had nearly killed her with his twisted acts as Angelus and caused her so much pain she hadn't known if she could go on, but she had sent him to hell, he had suffered pain, agony so strong that nothing could compare to it and she had been the one to send him there, and yet he had been able to forgive her that. He would always be in her heart until she died, she knew that but she also knew that he would not be in the fore point of her heart he would be in the back ground a perfectionist memory treasured forever teaching her how to love.  
  
Then there was Cordelia Chase, the drama queen pampered princess who had first welcomed her to Sunnydale on her first day offering her friendship in her own way, the same way everything was done with Cordelia, with style.  
  
Buffy had thought her to be an arrogant air head kind of like all those pathetic clones which she had left behind her in LA but had quickly learnt that there was more to Cordy then met the eye, the girl had depths and layers something which had been a big surprise to everyone.  
  
Giles had been another kettle of lobster? No it was fish that's it Buffy smiled to herself as she remembered the Shy stuffy librarian when she first met him, and how quickly he had changed, no how quickly they both had changed, she had found herself to care deeply for him he became a substitute father figure in place of her absentee biological father or "Hank" as she called him now, Giles having taken his place years ago.  
  
Willow and Xander there weren't words to describe the emotions she felt for them, they surpassed friendship and love what she felt for them couldn't be described as an emotion, it was a presence they were part of her, a major part of her nothing could replace or substitute them they were what made her.  
  
She thought of each of the partners the three of them had had over the years, of Oz the quiet assertive werewolf who had broken willows heart, of Cordy and all the heart ache which surrounded her, of Tara The woman who had finally brought the real Willow out of her shell and who's death had thrown her over the edge in the abyss of darkness where it was only the love of a friend could bring her back towards the light, of Anya the talk before you think open minded honest beautiful ex-demon who had stolen Xander's heart she had been a one of a kind any one could see that and though their love had grown into something so beautiful it just couldn't have worked Xander didn't have the strength in him to risk what they had in case he hurt her, but now as she watched the tears flowing down his cheeks and him quickly wiping them away she knew that the love he felt for her was so powerful so earth shattering that it would never go away or be replaced and that he would be regretting his decision for the rest of his life.  
  
She then spared a moment to think of her own lovers, of Angel and Parker, the guy who had ripped her heart out and pureed in a public display in front of her, of Riley and how no matter how much she tried she just hadn't been able to love him the way he loved her. And of the bleached wonder, she smiled at Xander's nickname for him remembering his scowl when he'd heard that for the first time and every subsequent time which Xander had addressed him as that. Tears started to form in her eyes and she turned her cheek to lean against the window of the bus watching the trees flying past them and realised that Faith must be driving.  
  
Faith, the run away turn coat murder or the second slayer, which ever you decided to think of her as, Buffy changed her mind each day, but she understood where Faith was coming from having had over the previous days had some deep talks about the past, she could understand that Faith did what needed to be done to get by, sometimes she went over the line but age brings wisdom and she was finally beginning to understand where the boundaries were, which you could bend and which were iron clad.  
  
Night fell and she drifted off into a deep sleep waking up suddenly and thinking about her mom, her mom, panic overtook her as she realised that she had just lost her last link to her mother, the cemetery where her mom's remains were buried were lying amongst the ashes of the burnt out fires of Sunnydale, she grabbed the back pack which she had stashed on the bus before the last battle, they had all been allowed one bag in which to pack whatever they wanted to keep she looked through the contents of hers remembering the indecision she'd had in packing it, in the end she had kept it to the bare essentials, clean underwear, a couple of shirts a pair of jeans some silly bits she'd collected over the years, and a couple of pictures pulled out of the photo albums of her mom and her childhood, she had also grabbed as many negatives as she could hoping to be ale to have them reprinted, at the last minute she had grabbed Mr Gordo and the ring which Angel had given her with his family crest on it, she had placed it on her wedding finger smiled down at it and secured her moms engagement ring on her index finger thrown on the cross Angel had given her when she had first arrived along with the on her mom had bought her.  
  
She looked at the photos and into her moms smiling face at the different scenes the pictures remembered, birthdays Christmas, dances, wedding proms everything was shown in them.  
  
She thought of her mom during the illness and about how she had reacted when she had realised Dawn's true past.  
  
And the sympathetic conversation she'd had with Spike even when he'd been the Big Bad she'd made him coco and given him a shoulder to cry on, and he in turn had never tried to hurt her protecting her when times were tough.  
  
God she missed her mom, stuff had gotten harder and harder after she had gone Buffy had had no one to turn to have a cuddle or be the grown up, that job had fallen to Buffy. And she'd tried her hardest but couldn't in any way compare to her mom.  
  
It had been Spike who had helped her find herself again after her mom and her own death; if it hadn't been for him she doubted whether she would be here now, whether any of them would be here now.  
  
She owed so much to him, her life hundreds of times over, the stability and safety of her family and friends, she couldn't bare the thought that she would never see him again, that she would never be able to repay what he had given her that he would never know how much he meant to her and that she would think of him everyday till she died as the man whom she loved.  
  
Tears were flowing down her cheeks again, but she quickly forgot about them when the bus began to slow down, it couldn't be another rest stop they'd only had one of them an hour or so ago, she got up from her seat pushing past the sleeping bodies on her way to the front of the bus to see what was up. 


	2. Jaquetta

The bus slowed down to a stop as Buffy reached the drivers seat where Giles was, she looked out of the window trying to see any sign of danger before asking him,  
  
"So what's up then?"  
  
Giles sat in the driving seat and said,  
  
"I thought that we should take a break sleep in a real bed, so I phoned ahead and this was the only place open."  
  
He then stood up and starting waking up the slayers, an hour later everyone was settled in their rooms and most people had fallen back into a deep sleep, Buffy was just climbing into her bed next to a snoring dawn, when a knock came at the door, She got up and pulled her coat off the chair next to the bed and pulled it across her t-shirt in an attempt to make herself more decent.  
  
She walked over to the door, and opened it ajar just enough to peer through it and see whom it was, she was surprised to find Giles standing the other side of the door, with a nervous expression on his face,  
  
"Is everything ok?" she asked opening the door wider and beckoning him into the cramped room, he looked around for a moment before saying,  
  
"I need you to come with me..... I have to show you something, it's important. Please get dressed we have to go now."  
  
He took his glasses off and started to clean them as Buffy turned away and pulled her jeans on and grabbed her boots, when she had finished and turned back to face him he put his glasses back on and smiled at her.  
  
They turned to leave the room, when they had got outside Buffy turned to him and said,  
  
"Alright Giles you need to tell me right now what the hell is going on."  
  
Giles stopped briefly and took a deep breath before turning to Buffy and saying,  
  
"I made a promise to Spike.. He. We found out what the amulet would do to him last night,"  
  
Buffy gasped shocked that spike had known what was going to happen to him, it made it all the worse that he knew he was going to die and yet all he had been concerned about was her and her safety as they prepared for the battle, he didn't even drop a hint or show any sign he just did what he always did pushed her to the front and backed her up no matter what it was she was fighting.  
  
"He knew?"  
  
She whispered softly, Giles nodded back to her and said,  
  
"The amulet was a very rare specimen, there were only three which were ever created, one has lost in the sands of time, the third was the on which Spike used tonight, but the second one was used in the 16th Century by a Vampire called Jaquetta De Bon, She had begun her un-life participating in the typical bloodlust fuelled violent activity.... But enough of that, a century after her turning she was discovered by a slayer Anne her name was, Anne and Jaquetta fought from dusk till dawn for three nights solid. Both were impressed with the others strategies, techniques and stamina, on the fourth night Jaquetta bowed down to Anne, who in turn showed her lenience and so the first Vampire/Slayer comradeship was formed, they fell in love much to the disgust of Anne's Watcher, Sir Paul Hector who in his diaries tells how he concocted a plan to kill Jaquetta or Anne to destroy the disgrace which their relationship was. Hector contacted a race of demon called the T'ELLCK, which are a race of assassins, they are trained from birth how to track and capture targets, they have evolved in such a way that their whole body is a weapon. He then led Jaquetta and Anne into a trap where the T'ELLCK attacked the pair, unbeknownst to Hector however Jaquetta had been a member of the Hark-to clan who crafted the amulet and she herself possessed the second one. When the T'ELLCK attacked the amulet was activated and a blinding light surrounded Jaquetta and Anne who had clung to her lover in fright supposedly when the amulet activated itself, the demon was destroyed as was the village in which the trap had been made, but the remains of Anne and Jaquetta were never found, however an ancient text discovered years later told the tale of a two woman who appeared in the midst of the Hark-to clan out of a blinding light both possessing un natural strength and power and a knowledge of the future."  
  
Buffy who had stopped in her tracks to listen to the story suddenly dropped to the floor, her legs giving way in her grief. Giles only just managed to grab her before she hit the floor she looked up at him his eyes clouded with tears and said,  
  
"So the amulet saved them and sent them back in time?"  
  
"Yes, But more importantly Buffy Jaquetta was sent back to a time before she was changed with possessing her knowledge and experience and so was able to avoid being changed in the future, and so was able to lead out a normal life as she should have done in the first place."  
  
Buffy looked shell shocked for a moment before saying,  
  
"SO Spike's gone back to a time before Drusilla before he was spike?"  
  
"Yes." Giles said simply.  
  
Buffy cried and cried her eyes out, Giles jumped out of his seat and said softly "Buffy shush come on now he wouldn't want you to be upset about this, he wanted you to have all your dreams come true to be happy with life, and to let someone love you as much as he did."  
  
Buffy smiled through her tears and said, "I know Giles I know." 


	3. Answers

They carried on their walk up, turning round a sharp bend in the path before starting up a steep track surrounded on both sides by giant oak trees which were unusual for California but fitted in some how with the feeling on of the place.  
  
The stars shone over head not really seen clearly through the tree's but more like spare points of light scraping through the leafs.  
  
The moon was gone, hidden from sight completely, but that didn't matter here, Buffy created her own light from which to see as she stumbled up the path holding onto Giles, she had no idea where they were going, she was letting her feet guide her as she tried to muddle through the information which clouded her thoughts.  
  
It was because of this she didn't realise that Giles knew where they were going; he was in fact guiding her as they walked looking for something which he knew, a sign for what he knew had to be here soon to guide him to where he had promised to take her, so she would know, so she would understand.  
  
It came sooner than he had expected halfway up the steep path which they were no walking there was a small gate rusted with age, he stopped and looked at the gate a moment, holding Buffy's hand as she continued to be lost in thoughts of her lost love.  
  
He looked closer at the gates trying to see anything which we provide him a clue or anything, a chuckle escaped his lips as he rose up from the floor after inspecting the gate, they were made out of railroad spikes, he pulled the gate open, it fell of it hinges as he did so and landed on the ground in front of them braking off into three pieces, Giles walked awkwardly over them and picked Buffy up so and carried her over them so that she would cut herself on the rusted angles or points sticking out from the floor.  
  
He had expected her grief to be like this, remembering how she had been when she thought that she had lost Dawn; the pain had devoured her and sent her to in some sort f catatonic state.  
  
He decided that he would carry her for the rest of the time knowing that it wouldn't be far now, and not really trusting that her legs would be able to retake her weight if not asked to, she seemed to be on automatic pilot not noticing anything or anyone around her.  
  
In Buffy's mind she wasn't there in the woods with Giles, she was miles away and in Sunnydale, sitting on her back porch crying, not wanting to be on her own, suddenly Spike appeared out of the bushes with a gun in his hand, he walked over to her sat on the step and placed an arm around her holding her as she cried not saying anything just holding her.  
  
When the last tears had fallen she looked up at him and asked him why he was here, he looked deep into her eyes, into her soul and told her that he was here cause he loved her and that was the reason why he would never leave her side, because he loved her.  
  
She had started to say that she started to talk wanting to tell him that she love him, when he had placed a finger on her lips and told her that he knew she wouldn't love him but that he could cope with that, not wanting to loose her, telling her that she always had him that he would always look after her and that one day maybe he would be able to prove to her that he was more than a monster, and she would see him as a good a man, who she could love.  
  
Lying in Giles' arms Buffy began to cry and he heard her whisper softly  
  
"I love you."  
  
Knowing that she was thinking of Spike he turned his attention back to the path ahead, there was another gate, ahead, which lead up small hill.  
  
The gate was open so he carried he through the gate easily and up the hill not stopping til he got to the top and saw what he was looking for, there were about half a dozen tombstones, some corroded with age, others well kept and on among them looking brand new.  
  
Behind the tombstones at the top of another great hill there stood a large house, where not light shone from the windows, and no one lived.  
  
Giles carried Buffy forward to where the tombstones were and placed her on the floor before the tombstones, kneeling in front of her trying to break her out of her thoughts.  
  
The sun was rising as Buffy awoke from her memories, the night had gone and she didn't know where she was, through the clouded mists clouding her sight she moved to Giles' voice, which sounded like a soft echo.  
  
She blinked her eyes a couple of times, before saying  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
Giles looked at her for a moment and said  
  
"I made a promise before the battle with the first, a promise which I feel indebted to keep, I told you that Spike knew what would happen to him, he told me that after the battle I was to bring you here so that you would know."  
  
"Know what?"  
  
Giles turned away from her looking at the tombstones, Buffy Got up and walked up to each of the oldest reading it,  
  
William "Spike" Owens Born February 1819 Died November 1894  
  
Buffy knelt in front of the tombstone tracing the outline of the writing with her fingers as the tears fell down her cheeks.  
  
"He's really gone isn't he?"  
  
She asked Giles, who silently nodded and reached inside his coat pulling out a yellows letter and handing it to her saying  
  
"This is for you."  
  
She turned and took it from him looking at the writing and recognising it as the man she loved turning it over and tearing it open pulling out the mass of paper which had writing scrawled on both sides of it. 


	4. Spike's Letter

Dear Buffy  
  
Since I'm writing this, I guess it proves the watchers theory was right cause here I am back in the good old 1800's. The amulet sent me right back to the night I was changed. Talk about living hells, one moment I'm burning alive watching (With great satisfaction) as the hell mouth closed in, I pass out and the next moment I'm back in that god-awful party.  
  
I want you to know that my last thoughts were of you pet, what you said to me, meant more to me than you'll even know and with all my heart I hope you and the niblett are safe.  
  
That party, you remember I told you about that party, it was like being in a nightmare, back in that room again listening as they all stood there laughing a my pitiful excuse of a poem.  
  
But as the laughing continued I began to realise how ridiculous the situation was, ten minutes before I had been a master vampire, quarter of the scourge of Europe, feared by millions. And there I was being all pitiful and Nancy-boyish about that group of losers not like my poem, which wasn't any good and meant tuppence to me especially since that girl Cecily who I was meant to be mad on was nothing on you, how could I be so upset about someone so bitchy and stuck up I realised that and walked out without looking back, I went home in a carriage, it was expensive but I had the money, I wanted to avoid the streets not wanting to see Angelus or Dru again.  
  
I was so glad to see my home after all that time it was like well... going home for better want of a phrase. And seeing my mum well it was amazing I can't describe it. I walked in and picked her up in the air startling her I can tell you, she was cross for a minute thought that I'd been drinking. I never told you that she was an avid tee- totaler did I? Well she was and so was I until then.  
  
I couldn't help myself though it was just so great seeing her alive, the last time I saw her was when I killed her, that image is one of the things that stuck with me through thick and thin, it's not one of those things which you easily forget.  
  
The next day I closed up the house and took mother down to Devon where my Sister Chastity and her husband Dylan lived. Mum was so excited; she hadn't seen my little Sis in about two years (Travelling wasn't really done that often in these days pet.) I just wanted to get her out of the town and away from all the fumes of the factories try to build her health back up and everything.  
  
It was great seeing Chastity again, I'd almost forgotten her, it had been so long since I had seen her or even thought of her, families one of the things you first forget when you become a demon. But she was lovely, you'd have loved her she reminded me a lot of Red looked a bit like her as well.  
  
Dylan was alright still not sure if he was good enough for her but he seemed to make her happy enough, they had four little kid's: Annie, Theodore, Lucy and Grace, never really taken the time to talk to them before then but in the two weeks I spent with them it made me realise what I had been missing.  
  
After two weeks I decided that it was time for me to return to London, it didn't take much persuasion to talk mum into staying down there. When I got back to London I organised sending more of her stuff to Devon before going about trying to get in touch with the watcher's council.  
  
Tough group of wanker's to get in touch with that lot, and even harder to get in with them. All based on family tradition and all that bollock's, not really trusting outside's it took me two years to persuade them but they let me in. I trained with them for ten years. In my fifth year I was offered the place to become watcher to the new called slayer Aurora Manson, but I couldn't do it, there's no slayer who could compare to you pet. And I wasn't about to take any sloppy seconds after that I wasn't offered any chance to become watcher to a slayer, so I turned my path towards research, trying to remember all the big bad's you'd had problems with and trying to find out as much about them as I could.  
  
I decided to move to America, Homesick for something which would remind me of you, I found this estate on the outskirts of what one day would Sunnydale and decided to nab it before someone else could.  
  
I never married Buffy luv, couldn't find anyone who could hold an inch to you, if I'm honest I don't think I ever really looked I was to busy with my memories and dreams. I hope you find someone who'll love you though and make you happy the little white fence and two kid dream you were always going on about, you deserve it pet, a life time of work and now you've got your reward. Don't waste it pet, make the most of your life.  
  
I've loved you every second I've lived in both lifetimes and I hope that you'll remember me I want to help you now. I know you're scared about the future, what's going to happen to you and the bit now everything's gone capot in sunny hell, so I've also included the deeds to this estate in the letter, the place is yours to live in turn into a school or to sell, what ever you need it for it's yours.  
  
I'll be going now, I've always and will always love you Buffy Anne Summers give my love to the bit and Red, Xander and Giles I hope you all have the lives you deserve.  
  
Yours eternally  
  
Spike 


	5. A New Hope

Buffy finished reading the letter and wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood and walked to the crest of the hill and looked at the big manor house, which was being bathed in the golden light of dawn, and smiled. This was it this was home.  
  
Turning back towards Giles she went and sat crouched next to him saying  
  
"He loves me Giles, he's left all this to me, to make it into a new home for us all."  
  
Giles looked at her carefully for a moment not to sure about how to answer this statement and said,  
  
"I always knew he loved you Buffy, despite what you thought and what I did. His actions towards you proved to me time and time again that he loved you. This is just another example of the remarkable man which William Owens was."  
  
Buffy smiled and wiped her hands on her jeans and said,  
  
"He was and he'll never be forgotten I promise that."  
  
They watched the sun as it rose the light glistening off the windows of the house before walking back down the hill to the motel and telling the other slayers what had happened and start to build up, the William Owens School of Training for Supernaturally Gifted.  
  
**TWO YEARS LATER  
**  
Buffy sat awkwardly on the coach and gazed round the room, it was you typical run of the mill family sitting room painted a pale beige colour with red leather furniture and framed photographs scattered on every open space.  
  
This was always the most difficult part of the job, after they had located a new slayer or Wicca or potential watcher, the whole meet greet and try to persuade the family part was the bit Buffy hated the most. And this was proving to be one of her most difficult meetings so far.  
  
Mr Porter were not a very open minded person, he believed in having meals at meal time, going to bed at the same time each night and going to church each Sunday. Homework had to be done on time and there was no snacking between meals. Anything he didn't know he considered foreign and wrong.  
  
Mrs Porter on the other hand was guarded against her husband, she was a small woman but there was a distinct feeling of power or what used to be power radiating off her. Buffy could sense no darkness in it so ignored it, but found herself warming slightly to the woman.  
  
He defiantly counted witchcraft as falling under this category, only problem with this? Their daughter Ellie had the most powerful magical aura, which Willow had picked up in a long time. She was defiantly practicing no matter what her parents thought, and it was imperative that she be brought back to the school for proper training. Willow had been very clear on this, telling Buffy that Ellie's power seemed to be getting darker and darker each time it was checked and if she didn't start grasping control then it was quite possible for her to follow down Willow's path of addiction.  
  
Adele Porter walked back in the room with a tray of tea, her daughter and husband in tow and the three of them sat down on the coach opposite Buffy with the tray on the coffee table in the centre.  
  
"Milk and Sugar?"  
  
Adele asked politely, she liked this woman, this Buffy Summers. She had started ringing them a couple of days ago claiming to be from school who were willing to offer Ellie a scholarship, but the school in question was rather secretive and selective about the people who it let in and according to Ellie's Headmistress, not really clear on how it selected it's students. There had been some good points however that Ms James had pointed out, statistics which boasted almost 0% drop outs and close on 100% SAT results all in all a graduation from that school pretty much guaranteed you entrance to any college you wanted. The only problem with this, hardly any of the graduates went on to college. She wanted Ellie to go to the school it would mean an escape from her father, a way out. Adele knew that there was no escape for her, but hoped that this could at least be a way out for her Ellie.  
  
Buffy nodded smiling and said,  
  
"So have you considered our offer any more?"  
  
Herman Porter cleared his throat and said  
  
"I'm sorry, but you go over your offer one more time, just so we could be clear about what it is exactly you are offering our daughter?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes before accepting a cup of tea of Adele. The father was defiantly to annoy her,  
  
"We're offering Ellie a place at the William Owens School of Training for Supernaturally Gifted..."  
  
Herman interrupted and said,  
  
"Two questions, who is William Owens, and what do you mean Supernaturally gifted?"  
  
Buffy clenched her fist and glared at the cup of tea in front of her and said,  
  
"To answer you first question, William Owens is, was an exceptionally talented and courageous man. He fought for everything he believed, for the people he loved for all of his life and the school is a monument to his achievement. To answer your second question your daughter is a witch. She has immensely powerful and needs to be trained else she could end up treading down a path like others before which is very dangerous. She could become a danger to herself, to those she loves. The power that she yields is a gift just as much as it is a curse. She needs to be with people who understand her power, who can help her control it. Or it will lead her feeling segregated from everyone she will loose her humanity and then there is no telling what she will do."  
  
Herman slammed his hands on the table and said,  
  
"Enough! I will not sit here and listen to you sprout this tripe about my daughter."  
  
They were standing now and Herman walked round the table and grabbed Buffy's arm saying,  
  
"Get out of my house"  
  
He tried to pull her but when he felt her resistance he raised his hand as if to slap her. Buffy snapped she grabbed his hand in her own and squeezed it feeling his resistance and watching as he fell to the floor his resistance weakening and finally cascading. Buffy let go of his hand when he was on the floor and walked over to where Ellie was sitting and said,  
  
"It's your choice, I can feel the power in your aura if you open your senses you'll be able to feel mine, I know you can do it."  
  
She looked at Ellie who had kept her head lowered since she had entered the room, Buffy watched as the girls eyes narrowed in concentration and then lit up as she felt the magic and power in Buffy's aura. She looked into Buffy's eyes a light of Hope shining in them.  
  
Adele had watched as Buffy won the battle with her husband, and something lit up in side her. She walked over to where Buffy was standing over her daughter and said,  
  
"Ellie, go and pack your bags now, you're going to this school."  
  
Buffy smiled as she shook hands with Adele Porter and said,  
  
"Feel free to visit us whenever you wish, and don't worry we'll take good care of your daughter."  
  
Adele smiled as she looked at Ellie was leaning against the bonnet of Buffy's car and said,  
  
"I know you will."  
  
Before waving to her daughter and shutting the door, Buffy climbed into the driving seat and turned the radio on. Ellie had yet to say anything but Buffy thought that it would be better to leave her til she felt comfortable enough to say anything rather than push her. 


	6. 684 Days

They were about an hour away from the school when Ellie finally spoke,  
  
"How did you know where I was?"  
  
Buffy glanced at her out of the corner of her eye as she continued to watch the road and said,  
  
"Your magic, every time you do a spell it leaves a marker. To find the witch who did the spell it's simply the case of tracing the dots."  
  
Ellie thought about this for a moment before saying,  
  
"Who are you really? You have a magical aura but it's not like anything else I've ever felt, it's dark yet light and there's power and strength but not magic, it's strange."  
  
Buffy laughed and said,  
  
"That's probably one of the best description's of a slayer aura I've ever heard."  
  
"What's a slayer?"  
  
"A slayer was one girl chosen out of each generation to defend the world against the demons and powers or darkness. Now however there are hundreds of us. Me on the other hand, I'm the real deal."  
  
Buffy said with a small smile, Ellie thought for a moment and said,  
  
"So what's this school like?"  
  
Buffy looked straight ahead at the road, it had started raining again.  
  
"Well at the moment there are 50 slayers 30 watchers and 24 Witches, including you. You'll be sharing a room with two slayers, Molly and Raven. And a watcher named Laura, they're all bout the same age as you so they'll be able to help you with any problems you have with your schoolwork or anything. Along with the normal Maths science English etc, you'll also be studying Demonology and Demonic rituals. Meditation techniques and advanced magical control."  
  
Ellie grinned she really liked the sound of this place.  
  
They rode in silence for the rest of the journey Ellie would occasionally look over at Buffy, but there was something about the look in the girls eye which made her want to leave her in peace, to think about whatever it was that the woman was thinking about.  
  
Buffy wasn't in the car sitting any more, she was back in her memories. Memories of what could have been. It had been two years and she still missed him. No she didn't miss him, her heart ached for him. He was her other half and now he was gone.  
  
That morning when she had been walking in the grounds of the school she had found the dead body of a turtledove. Turtledove's mate for life, when one dies the other will. Buffy felt a bit like that turtledove, like she should have died with him, but hadn't.  
  
She smiled slightly as she turned into the familiar wrought iron gates of the school; the long curvaceous wooded drive was where she would find peace from her thoughts. She knew that just as you turned the last corner of the drive a spectacular view of the school could be seen. She always imagined spike standing next to her seeing their home for the first time when she saw that view.  
  
Pulling into the parking lot she turned off the engine and looked at her watch turning to Ellie and saying,  
  
"Are you hungry? Cause its Dinner time now."  
  
Ellie nodded as she climbed out the car grabbing her rucksack. Buffy smiled at her and said,  
  
"Just go into the house and zone on the noise, Believe me you won't be able to avoid it."  
  
Ellie looked at the house, which was lit up, in the in defiance of the arriving night.  
  
"Aren't you coming too?"  
  
She asked Buffy who shook her head saying,  
  
"No I'm going to go for a walk. I'll eat later."  
  
Ellie nodded and walked towards the house, Buffy stood standing next to the house long enough to make sure that Ellie had got in safe, Before starting on her traditional night time walk up the hill to Spike's grave. She walked up the hill slowly the journey was getting harder and harder to make. It had been almost three years now since he had sacrificed himself for the world, but she couldn't let him go. The memory of him still ruled her heart she couldn't escape him, no escape was the wrong word. It wasn't that his memory kept her prisoner she didn't want to escape. She wished that she could stay with him forever. There had been times over the years where she had thought of taking her own life just so she could be with him. But she had always stopped herself just in time. She had too many responsibilities to do something so selfish.  
  
She got to the top of the hill where his grave was and sat cross-legged over the place where his long dead body lay. Using her index finger stroked softly, the outline of his name etched on the tombstone.  
  
"Hey You."  
  
She started with smile,  
  
"It's been 684 days since I last saw you, did you know that? I guess your probably laughing at me now. You know I've never been academic but I'll keep count of the things, which mean something to me. I picked up another Wicca today, her name's Ellie. Nightmare parents as usual, her father made the mistake of trying to hit me, he won't make that mistake again soon. The guys don't think it's healthy for me to carry on coming up here every night to talk to you. They still miss you, you know? Even Xander but don't tell him I told you that."  
  
She looked up at the moon, which was high in the sky then and said,  
  
"I'm going to go but I'll be back tomorrow, I love you."  
  
With that she stood up from then grave, brushed the dirt off her beige skirt and started to walk back down the hill to the house. 


	7. Decisions

When she got near to the house she saw a figure sitting on the front porch waiting for her, she smiled and sat down next to Xander who carried on pretending that it wasn't Buffy who he'd been waiting for.  
  
"So Buff, The new Wicca, what do you think?"  
  
Buffy thought for a moment clasping her hands together and said,  
  
"I think she's going to be amazing, she really is going to succeed."  
  
Grinning she continued saying,  
  
"I think Willow's going to have a new pet, I mean did you read the transcripts from her last school? It's Willow ten years ago."  
  
"Guess it's good she's here then"  
  
Xander said keeping her face straight.  
  
"How you Buffy, Honestly now? You're not happy are you?"  
  
Buffy looked up a moment shocked for two reasons, firstly by the seriousness of Xander's tone and secondly because since Anya had died Xander hadn't really been that open about emotions, he was still Xander but he was never the same. She thought for a moment before saying,  
  
"I'm as happy here as I would be any where else."  
  
Xander looked at her a moment and said,  
  
"That's not what I asked you Buff, I asked if you're happy."  
  
Buffy leaned on Xander's shoulder and said,  
  
"Honestly? I don't know. I love you guys so much you're my family and wherever you lot are I'm going to be there and I'm going to be happy. I'm glad that I've got you it's because of all of you that I've been able to watch Dawnie grow up into the amazing young woman I knew that she'd be. But I feel like I'm empty, like I'm ghost. I don't belong here, but I don't think I belong anywhere else either. I didn't love him like I should've when he was there for me but I love him so much now it's killing me."  
  
She was crying now and Xander moved his arms round Buffy's form and pulled her closer to him in an attempt to comfort her.  
  
"Buff, you don't need to be strong for us any more, we're all grown up and we can take care of ourselves. The thing you need to do is thinking about what you want to do. Don't think what's best for all of us because you've been doing that for so long. You need to decide what you want to do and know that we're going to help you ever step of the way."  
  
"Are you telling me to leave?"  
  
Buffy asked pulling away from Xander embrace,  
  
"No, I'm not telling you to do anything. Willow found a spell today; it's a spell that will take you to where you're heart lies. She's not sure exactly what will happen, but if you want she's willing to try it for you. She's no idea what will happen to you; the spell is in an ancient language that she and Giles have never really seen before. If you truly love Spike then that's where you'll go."  
  
Buffy looked into Xander eyes and said,  
  
"How?"  
  
Xander looked at the stars and said,  
  
"It's in one of the old books from Giles' home in Bath, he only got the day before yesterday. Willow was sorting through them and found the spell."  
  
Buffy didn't know what to say,  
  
"We'll understand if you want to try or if you don't. I'm going to try though."  
  
Her eyes met his and she said,  
  
"Anya?"  
  
He looked at her the tears were welling in his eyes,  
  
"She's my everything, I love her so much and I don't think she knew that. Do you have any idea how horrible that makes me feel? The woman I loved died protecting someone else without knowing how much I loved her. I hate that I hate this. I love you guys so much but I need to try this to see whether I can be with her, I'm willing to risk it to see if she's ok, to be with her."  
  
Buffy grabbed his hand and said,  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've been so caught up in my own pain that I haven't seen yours..."  
  
Xander started to interrupt her but she continued saying,  
  
"No you've got to let me do this. You've always been there for me when I've needed you, God Xander you brought me back to life twice! When mom died you helped me so much, you've never liked my partners but you've supported me through everything and I should have been a much better friend then I have. But I want you to know that I love you so much and although I don't always show it, you mean everything to me."  
  
Xander pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair, which she'd grown longer over the last couple of years. He wished so many things had happened differently, wished he could change so many things about his life. But in all his wishes he knew there were three things, which he would never change. Loving Anya. Loving Willow and Buffy. And surprisingly Loving Cordelia, because if he'd never loved her and made the mistakes he did with Willow then he would never have met Anya and that would be the worse possible thing he could imagine.  
  
The last couple of years had been so hard for him without her, he missed her every second he breathed. He woke up in the morning and reached for her but she wasn't there. He saw things in shops while he was out thinking what she would have liked sometimes in the beginning he had even found himself standing in cues clutching clothes, flowers books anything really that he had seen that she would like.  
  
He had only a few things of hers left now, the bag she had packed and placed on the school bus contained all of her greatest treasures, the first dollar she ever made when working for Giles which she had had framed, now hung on his bedroom wall. Pictures of the two of them together littered every available place in his room. He sprayed her perfume on his pillow so that in his sleep he could imagine she was lying there with him. He knew it was sad and that he should just move on but he couldn't. That's why when Willow had told him earlier that night about the spell she had found he knew that he had to try it because he couldn't think of anything worse than how he felt now.  
  
He still had his family but they were moving on. Willow still loved Tara as much as she had when she had been alive but now she had been in love with someone else for about eighteen months, Kennedy was long gone. Now she was with a beautiful Wicca named Paige. They were perfect for each other. Giles had found someone new, he was engaged to the Demonic History teacher Maya Lin, and they had a small daughter called Amber and were happy. He didn't begrudge their happiness, he just didn't feel part of it like he used to. Even Faith Had someone, she had fallen head over heels for a local baker called Tim, who surprisingly enough had been a normal everyday kind of guy the two of them had got married six months ago and were expecting their first child in two weeks time, a little girl who they were going to name Emma.  
  
That's why he could understand the way that Buffy felt, in some ways though he felt jealous of her, jealous that she had somewhere where she could go to talk to spike. Anya's body was now about a 100ft below sea level with the rest Sunnydale. She hadn't even had a proper funeral.  
  
Buffy through his thoughts saying,  
  
"I think I'm going to try."  
  
Xander kissed her and said,  
  
"Me too." 


	8. Tonight

Willow suddenly appeared at the door with Paige behind her, they both looked nervously at each other, this was the moment they were dreading, Willow especially. Paige squeezed her hand tightly reminding her that she was there with her. Willow smiled at her girl friend let go of her hand and broke the silence of her two best friends by saying,  
  
"Have you made your minds up?"  
  
Buffy looked at her and said,  
  
"Will, please don't hate me."  
  
Willow ran forward and kneeled on the step lower than the one on which Xander was sitting with Buffy on his lap and said,  
  
"Buffy, Xander I don't hate either of you, I love you both so much it hurts... hurts me so much to see you both like this. That's why when I found the spell me and Paige thought we should offer it to you. Not cause we want to get rid of you but because we're happy and we want you to be happy as well. I have so many memories of the three of us in the library and at Giles' and at your house Buffy when we happy that it hurts so much to see you both in so much pain. You both deserve happiness and if you have to leave, if it means that I never see you again then so be it. The important thing is that you'll both be happy, I love you guys so much."  
  
She Hugged Them both, her arms wrapping round Xander's shoulders and Buffy who was still on his lap.  
  
"I love you too Wills, and I'm going to miss you so much"  
  
Buffy said as she kissed Willow on the cheek.  
  
"When are we going to do this then?"  
  
Xander asked, Willow exchanged a look with Paige and said,  
  
"Tonight, it's got to be tonight."  
  
Buffy looked at Xander and said,  
  
"But that's not enough time, how are we going to say good bye every one? Are they going to understand?"  
  
Willow interrupted and said,  
  
"Buffy, Xander when I found the spell I talked to everyone and told them that it would have to be tonight, they understand and their waiting inside to say goodbye."  
  
Buffy stood up, hugged willow and said,  
  
"Thank you so much Wills, I love you."  
  
Before running inside. Xander stayed for a bit longer and said,  
  
"I've said my good byes, I want to do this now."  
  
Willow looked at Paige who had tears shimmering in her green eyes; her wispy black hair was swaying in the wind. She knew how hard this was for Willow, what it would mean for her. She had to be strong now, Strong for willow. She smiled and nodded at her lover and the two of them stood either side of Xander In the moonlight holding each other's hands round him, situated directly under the moon and Willow began to Chant in a language Xander had never heard. He felt himself being folded in on himself and just as he was leaving he shouted out,  
  
"I love you Willow, Paige take care of her please!"  
  
Willow opened her eyes and looked at the space where Xander had been and fell into Paige's outstretched arms crying, Paige wrapped her arms around the woman she loved and said,  
  
"Come babe, we've got one more to go, it's not time for tears now, you've got to be strong. It's only for a little while longer."  
  
Inside Buffy was saying her goodbyes; She was clinging to Dawn and Giles telling them how much she loved them,  
  
"Giles promise me you'll look after Dawn she maybe an adult now but she still needs love."  
  
Giles nodded and said,  
  
"I promise Buffy."  
  
She turned to Dawn, who was crying and said,  
  
"Dawn, are you sure you don't hate me, If you can't look me in the eye and tell me to leave then I'll stay with you. I love you so much."  
  
Dawn just gabbed Buffy and said,  
  
"You've sacrificed so much for me, let me makes this one sacrifice please Buffy I love you, you have to go, please though whenever you get wherever your going send word somehow that your ok please?"  
  
Buffy Hugged Dawn backs and said,  
  
"I promise Dawnie, but promise me something. When you've finished college you'll have a family a big family and live in a large house with a big back yard and a white picket fence and that when you've got a minute on your own you'll think of me."  
  
Dawn Hugged her back not wanting to let go but knowing that she would need to soon said,  
  
"I'll always think of you Buffy."  
  
"As will we."  
  
Maya Lin said squeezing Giles' hand, she knew how much this was hurting him he was loosing two of his surrogate children in one night.  
  
Faith came tearing through the door Tim breathlessly following and grabbed Buffy in Bone breaking hug sad  
  
"B, you better not have thought you were leaving without a goodbye from us."  
  
Buffy relaxed in Faith's arms and whispered  
  
"I love you"  
  
In her ears only to have the same thing whispered back to her, when Faith had let go of her, Tim hugged and the two of them looked at her and said,  
  
"We've decided that the baby's going to be Emma Buffy Amos, you'll never be forgotten Buffy, she's going to grow up knowing who she was named after."  
  
Buffy started crying all over again and said,  
  
"I can't believe I'm really going"  
  
She wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbing Giles' hand one last time she stared him deep in the eyes and pleadingly said,  
  
"You'll care for the Girls, the watchers, all of them? They need someone to be there for them. You were there for me so much that I can't think of any one better to help them with their responsibility's"  
  
Giles who had tears in his eyes now said,  
  
"It will be an honour, though I must admit I doubt any of them will live up to you. Words can't express how proud I am of you Buffy. You've dealt with so many things that no single person should ever have had to deal with and conquered everything that's ever come against you even death. And it seems you've suddenly become this Woman who I shall never forget a woman who deserves to have a happy and long life. Good luck Buffy."  
  
He pulled her towards him and gave her a fatherly kiss on the forehead before letting go of her and pulling Maya Lin to him and holding on to her, he wished he had never seen this night. The night he lost two of his 'Children' but he knew it had to be done. He was glad that they would be happy, after a lifetime of battles of darkness and pain they deserved an eternity of Happiness and he knew that one day they would all be together again.  
  
Buffy gave everyone one last hug and told them that she loved them. Before going back outside where Willow and Paige were standing, she hugged Paige and said,  
  
"Take care of Paige, if you hurt her at all I'll find some way of getting back here with a pick axe ok."  
  
Paige laughed and said,  
  
"I promise I'll take care of her..."  
  
Then she leant in and whispered in her ear,  
  
"I'm going to ask her to marry me."  
  
Buffy squealed and hugged Paige again before turning to willow, she grabbed her red haired friend who was not crying anymore, she had nothing left to cry.  
  
"I love you Wills, you are the most amazing Woman I've ever met in my life. Be happy and remember Carpe Diem."  
  
Willow laughed as she cried and kissed Buffy saying  
  
"I love you to, now stand in between us like that... yeah... now don't move ok?"  
  
She grabbed Paige's hands and began chanting again. Buffy felt a similar feeling as Xander did before she disappeared.  
  
"Carpe Diem"  
  
Willow whispered to herself as Paige led her inside the house, neither saying anything. There was nothing they could say any more. What was done was done they could just hope for the best 


	9. Xander

Xander felt himself travelling at a great speed and then falling, he hit the ground sharply. He was afraid to open his eyes for a moment afraid what would be there when he opened them. But when he did he couldn't believe it. He was in Sunnydale, how it used to be before, but it was different somehow.  
  
He walked through the streets until he found himself outside Anya's old house, he didn't know what to do, and he hoped the spell had worked but he didn't know. He walked up to the door and knocked firmly on the door, waiting nervously for it to be answered, he heard footsteps looming towards him and suddenly the door opened and Anya was there.  
  
He Burst into tears and fell to his knees hugging her whispering,  
  
"It's you, it's really you."  
  
Anya was crying and kneeling in front of him raking her fingers through his hair and kissing him saying,  
  
"Xander? Are you really here, or is it just another dream?"  
  
He lifted his hand and stoked it across her cheek and said,  
  
"It's me Anya, I love you. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you before, but I love you, I love you so much I never want to leave you again. I love so much."  
  
He balanced his forehead on hers and began to kiss her,  
  
"I love you too Xander, so much. That's why I'm here. That's why I've been stuck here for so long. I've been waiting for you, waiting for when you came for me."  
  
He looked at her and said,  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"We're in The Caves of Passion, it's where people go when they die if they refuse to go to heaven."  
  
He looked at her and said,  
  
"You refused to go to heaven?"  
  
She laughed and said,  
  
"Heaven is where I felt I was when I was with you, that's why I've been waiting for you for so long. D'Hoffryn built this place for me as a gift he said that when you all died you would be given the option of coming here."  
  
Xander smiled and said,  
  
"So maybe one day everyone else will be here too."  
  
She nodded smiling and said,  
  
"Until then though it's just me and you"  
  
Xander kissed her and said,  
  
"I could spend an eternity just with you."  
  
Anya kissed him back and said,  
  
"I love you."  
  
There was a voice calling from inside and a small child appeared a girl who looked like she was about three years old followed closely by a boy of the same age.They both had Honey brown hair and brown eyes and looked so similar to how he had looked when he was younger that it was scary. Xander stared at them and said  
  
"Anya, Honey?"  
  
Anya stood up and said,  
  
"I was four months pregnant when I died, I'd like you to meet you children, Chastity Emmanuelle Harris and Craig Donald Harris"  
  
Xander stood up brushing the tears away and smiled saying,  
  
"My children?"  
  
He held his arms out to them and they nervously came forward with the help of some verbal prodding by Anya and hugged him.  
  
Chastity held his hand after she hugged him and looked at Anya and said,  
  
"Momma now Dada's here are we going to be a family?"  
  
Xander picked Chastity up and ruffled Craig's hair and looking at Anya said,  
  
"Yeah baby, we're going to be a Family."  
  
And with that the four of them turned back to the house and shut the door, happy that they were now together and able to rebuild there lives with the foundation of their love. 


	10. Ending's and Beginning's

The next morning when Giles woke up there was a delivery waiting for him, from London containing the last of the contents from the old council vaults. He signed for them. And began to sort through the contents stopping suddenly when at the bottom he found an envelope yellowed with age which had "Scooby's" written on it.  
  
He picked it up and carried it to the school where he met Willow, Dawn and Faith and the three sat down to open the letter, he read out loud so that they would all know what Buffy had written.  
  
Hey Guys,  
  
I know you've probably guessed from the fact that I'm writing this letter that the spell worked. I'm in the good old 1800's and I'm a married (rich) woman now. You would not believe the amount of clothes I have to ware each day, especially under my dresses! I'm sure Giles is blushing as he reads this but Wills, Faith honestly count yourself luck and never ever complain bout your underwear again ok? Thankfully we don't have company that often so I normally walk round the house in a pair of Spike's trousers.  
  
We're in the house now, you know the one you guys are living in, it's weird I keep walking into a room and remembering what it's like.... What it will be like when you guys live there. I miss you all so much, thank you so much for doing this for me I know somehow I'll see you again. I'm happy now truly I am. When I saw Spike after I realised the spell had worked I fell into his arms and told him how much I loved him, it was like coming home. We were married three weeks later on the 26th of January and I don't think I've spent more than a minute away from him since that time. We still argue but it's different now, I'm different now and I know that I made the right choice to come back here. I can't really imagine my life without him.  
  
I've had five children so far, Boy lets just say a big Hallelujah for Slayer healing else there wouldn't have been more than one, let me just Say "Oww" and tell Faith that doing light stretches during the beginning really takes the edge of the pain.  
  
I've got four girls and my baby boy. The eldest is Charlotte she's sixteen now, then Iris who's fourteen, Mary thirteen and Anya who's three. And my baby boy we called William. I'm expecting twins this fall. If they're girls we're going to call them Willow Faith and Tara Dawn if their boys Liam Rupert and Alexander Timothy. I'm not sure if I'll have any more after these two are born but I'd not rule it out as a possibility, maybe one more to make it even?  
  
Dawn, I love you so much and even though I'm not there any more it doesn't mean that I don't care about you, I've set up a bank account for you the account numbers and everything are in the smaller envelope, it's just my way of providing for you and to make sure you have a good life.  
  
Willow words can't describe what you mean to me, I wish you every happiness possible with Paige you two were made for each other and I know that the your both going to be so happy together. I know that we're going to meet each other some day, I'll be waiting for you and remember carpe diem. I want you to have the silver cross Angel gave me when I got to Sunnydale. Please wear it and think of me.  
  
Faith, you've grown to mean so much to me over the two and half years we spent together after Sunnydale was destroyed. You're an amazing slayer but I think you're going to be an even better mom, watch out for the other slayers they need you, your strength wisdom and screw ups. If you don't help them then what's to stop them from making the same mistakes as you did? Say hi to Tim and Emma for me. See you soon.  
  
Giles, we've had a problem's in the past, but that's what they are. They're in the past. You are the best father I ever had and I know that you and Maya Lin are going to be very happy together for a long time to come. Give Amber a hug from me and tell her aunty Buffy said hey and give her Mr Gordo she's basically his adoptive mother any way. You're the man who I've always thought of as 'Dad' ever since I met you. I'll see you soon Dad.  
  
Say Hi to all the girls for me and wish time good look in their training and Lives.  
  
I should go now, I love you all, Have good lives and like I've said so many times in this letter, I'll be seeing you  
  
I love all of you  
  
Buffy.  
  
1 Year Later  
  
Willow, Paige, Faith and Giles all walked up the hill to where the two graves stood,  
  
William "Spike" Owens Died age 93 November 1911 And  
  
Buffy Anne Owens Nee Summers Died age 86 October 1911  
  
Beloved Parents, Loving People who were unable to live apart. Joined for an eternity of peace.  
  
Willow and Paige were holding hands, they had just returned from their honeymoon in Las Vegas, Faith was holding her young daughter Emma in her arms and Giles was just standing thinking of his family those who were present, those who were waiting back at the school and those who were gone. The small group smiled amongst themselves as they looked at the graves, each taking a moment to bend down and trace the names inscribed on them and sparing a moment to think of the person the name belonged to. When they had all done this they stood back, and Giles placed a bouquet of white lilies on the graves before the group began walking away each of them thinking  
  
"I'll see you soon."  
  
Before walking back down the hill to the school, which was their home.  
  
THE END

A/N I'd like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story, especially:

Kari

DarkAngel

DarkLover

#1Fan

Rachel

Amanda

Lilmamaday

Helaine

Katie

Stacy75

Spuffy101

ThessalyD

Spacey Stacey

Hm

Jane

Also, to answer Stacy75 question about the last chapter, Anya is dead. The cave of Passion's is sort of an alternative universe. It's a place, which D'Hoffryn created for her as a reward for her service as a vengeance demon. With regards to Chastity and Craig, I don't know if it had been 4months or what, it just seemed like a good idea because that was the thing Xander had always craved, to have a family. When he lost Anya he'd thought that he'd lost that. So when he found her again I wanted to show him not only going home but also finding peace if you get me. Craig and Chastity aren't dead in my mind, but they're not alive either. They'll grow up but they won't have normal lives, maybe they'll work for D'Hoffryn or something lol. I hope that clears it up for you.  
  
Just something else about the Cave of Passions, it's not just one cave it's an area of space, there are others out there it's just that this is the way in which has been set up for Anya. And again a question I asked myself as I was writing that chapter was whether I should have Spike and Buffy there already as they were meant to have lived over a hundred years before that time. There is no doubt in my mind that that was where they would go, but it wasn't time for them to be there yet. Buffy going back changed something so that they hadn't died yet. But when they did die they would be going there.  
  
Hm, I know that it wasn't completely a Happy story but I hope that it got Happier towards the end.  
  
Spuffy101&Helaine, I know there is no direct Spuffy goodness in the story, I hope you can see how happy they are by the letter Buffy wrote. I love Spuffyness but I didn't think it work to well if I went back to the C19th and wrote about their lives in this story. But I am thinking of writing a sort of off story from this one about what happened when Buffy went back and their lives together. So if you've got any idea's about what should happen in that tell me and I'll try to incorporate them into the story.  
  
I just want to say thanks again to everyone who's read this story (This is the longest Authors note I've ever written!) I've really enjoyed writing it and like I said their maybe another story stemming from this in the not to distant future.  
  
Well anyway thanks for reading  
  
Lolly xx 


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